:: It is not within me to be silent ::
Semi-regular filthy-minded misogynist rants coupled with philosophical treastises into the nature or gender politics. Though I'm not always right, I'm very rarely wrong.
Friday, December 26, 2003 ::
The DVDs I've gotten: Blade 1 and 2, Justice League: Paradise Lost, TRANSFORMERS: Season 1! (God I love my father!), and the Studio Ghibli Box Set! from my friend Kenny. I also got: Foot scrub, a spiderman ornament, the Marvel Trivia game (though I have no one to play it against, I cannot be beaten in comic book trivia), a gag gift that I really wanted, a battery powered dish scrubber that looks like a dildo, some superhero jumping beans, weird but cool, a knitted scarf, gloves, William Burroughs Naked Lunch and a six pack of beer! My brother and his girlfriend got me a 25.00 gift certificate to a local comic book shop, which I might use tonight on my way home, and I also received some little transformers, a marvel mug set including some shitty hot chocolate and cookies, some pens with my name on them (Hell yeah!), and 100.00 from my work and from my dad.
And I still haven't exchanged presents with all my friends. Merry Christmas everyone out there in Bloggiland! I love you all, even the men in a non-sexual, completely platonic lustful way.
I saw the Last Samurai, it was a fantastic movie. I like it far better than I liked Lord of the Rings, and trust me, I loved Lord of the Rings. Last Samurai is about a Civil War soldier who becomes an alcoholic after helping destroy a native American village filled with women and children. He's hired by Japanese businessmen to help wipe out the Samurai, who are preventing the laying of railroads and are stopping the flow of progress in Japan. The ending made me break down and sob like a baby with it's first tooth. It's nobility, one of my weak points when it comes to tears. Also loyalty and honor.
So on to the problems. Last night, Christmas night, I laid in bed next to D, talking about what we look for in a partner. I remarked casually off the cuff how I need a partner who not only enjoys sex, but craves it and wants it all the time. Her response: "I just don't want or need sex as much as you do." RED ALERT, RED ALERT! DANGER PAUL WAS, DANGER! This is going to suck.
I am rarely not in the mood. When my girlfriends wanted sex and I didn't, they would just say "I know how to put you in the mood." And they were always right. But it did not work the same way for me. If I were and they weren't, hands off, I might as well go off into the jackoff booth at the local peep show, because that's what I'll be doing that night anyway. I would never, ever attempt to hold a woman of mine to an obligation or responsibility for my libido, but dammit, it sure would be nice. I'm always horny. I'm at constant state of arousal, and while I'm not flying the flag at half-mast, it only takes a moments attention or when my thoughts turn to my favorite topic, fucking, that I end up excited. I know that others deal with this problem, having a partner who is not as physically responsive as they, but you know what? I don't want to deal with it. This is not something that I wish to work on or work with. This may be the deal breaker with D. I'm going to talk to her about it tonight, but it's not looking good already.
If she doesn't like it or want it as much as I do, then even the conversation and the things we have in common won't be enough to keep us together. And to add insult to injury, she can't perform an oral argument upon my person because it makes her jaw hurt. And she doesn't swallow like she claimed, either. That was a LIE! She did it once and now says she'll never do it again because her gag reflex is too much. Okay, she didn't lie, but since she'd never done it, now she doesn't want to do it again.
I realize that I have a high libido. I realize that I enjoy the sex a lot more and a lot more often than most. But is that bad? Is that wrong? I'd rather be having sex, than doing just about anything else.
1. I anger easier than I used to.
2. I'm horny all the time again, so much so, that I'm irritated if I don't relieve some tension.
3. I feel tense. So very, very tense, like a caged animal. A flat eyed stare out through the bars as prey walks in front of me, pointing fingers and gawking.
Are there other people out there like me? Constantly horny? I mean, CONSTANTLY. When I lived with my girlfriend, we would do it just about every night, sometimes twice or 3 times. Weekends, when we weren't shopping, we were home having sex. I thought all men were like this, until I talked to my friends and found out that no, they're not. Some people go MONTHS without it! How in the hell can you do that? Even with Miss Michigan and her handy fingerettes, I'm not going months. Especially in a relationship? No frigging way. If I'm with someone, I'm supposed to be fucking.
Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
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you are lightcyan
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Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.
Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.
Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.the spacefem.com html color quiz
Fucking people. The new guy that I already don't like, is a hitter. He hits people when he makes a joke, to emphasize a point and I guess because he's a jackass. He's racking up things to dislike about him, but this is one of those unforgivables. I don't like to be touched unless I initiate the touching. And I hate being hit. I'm not his younger brother or his best friend or his fuckbuddy. And let me tell you, I don't like any of those people hitting me either, no family, no friends, no fuckbuddies. What's the point of this people? Don't you see the looks people give you when you do it? Is it a way to show aggression that is designed not to get a response? Why do people hit to emphasize a point. This asshole next to me punches, but I'm had friends who clap me on the back as well. He's only done it once, but if he does it again, I'm going to tell him to shove his fist up his ass. I am honestly trying to be nice to this dumb shit, but he is making it really fucking difficult.
:: Paul 12:05:00 PM [+] ::
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