:: It is not within me to be silent ::
Semi-regular filthy-minded misogynist rants coupled with philosophical treastises into the nature or gender politics. Though I'm not always right, I'm very rarely wrong.
Monday, November 03, 2003 ::
I spent my halloween with my new girl, hanging out at her place. I met her parents and brother. We played pool, which I SUCKED at, new table, didn't have my stick, easily distracted by her bending over, etc, just believe one of my lies, please. We ended up watching 5 Deadly venoms, one of the greatest kung-fu movies EVER, however it was a horrible transfer to DVD, the title wasspelled wrong on the disk! How stupid can you get? Afterwards, I beat her in Yahtzee, Boggle, then Battleship. Because I'm so badass. And, of her own free will, no asking by me, she gave me an oral argument with a happy ending. Very happy ending. The gulp. However....
The name of the new girl is D. She is a mixed bag of good and bad. Here
are the two sides of her coin.
The Agony:
1. She has man hands. Seriously. I didn't notice until she painted her fingernails. I've been holding her hands on and off, since we started dating. But last Friday night, I really, really noticed. I guess I expected her hand to be as dainty and small as she is, but boy was I disappointed. At least her feet are small and dainty. I had no idea I could be this shallow, but dammit, MAN HANDS!
2. She's hairier than me. This isn't difficult, and in fact, almost all of my girlfriends have had more hair than me. Which is not to say that I date werewolves or hideous mutant bearded lady freaks, just that 90% of the population of the US has more hair than me. I'm wondering if I'll ever find a woman with less hair than me, this side of the girls of Chernobyl and the hotties who like to shave EVERYTHING. But who wants a bald girl?
3. The pants. She has these hip cool pants that are like balloons on her. They're horrifically ugly, the most disgusting things I've ever seen. I hate them. They are incredibly unflattering and they make me want to destroy. They're like a skirt, only on two legs, and they drag on the ground in a way that can only be described as sloppy and slovenly. I want to set them on fire. Not with her in them, just to watch them burn.
4. She disapproves of my drinking. She has a father who was once an alcoholic. But I find her disapproval a matter of trust, she doesn't trust that I wouldn't become one, which bothers me. I can see why she'd worry, I understand her fear, but I am not able to become an alcoholic, if only because of my acid reflux disease. I also recognize that it runs in my family and I refuse to become a slave to the bottle. As such, I don't drink that much nor that often, but I do drink. And I do enjoy it. I was so worried about becoming an alcoholic after my friend died that I stopped completely. So I think she's got nothing to worry about, but she thinks that she's better safe than sorry. Though it's still early in our relationship for this to be a problem, I could never invite her to pool night with me and my dad, cause we drink and talk and play pool.
5. She's young. 19. Yeah, I'm hitting some barely legal stuff. I feel a little weird about it, but I do like her, and she's fun. And it's plain that she's never had a good man in her life, cause she's head over heels for me, and we're only just dating. I don't want this to turn into fatal attraction, though it's possible because I'm an awesome dude and no doubt the best guy she's ever dated.
6. I don't really feel a lot for her. This is not her fault. But it's just that she's falling for me completely, and I'm just kinda coasting. I like her. But it will never be a great love, a passionate love. It'll just be fun, for however long it lasts. Is that bad of me? Am I using her? I know I'm only seeing her because I'm lonely, and there aren't really any sparks, but she's fun. I kind of feel like she's a project, I feel a bit like Henry Higgins with Eliza Doolittle, an experiment that blew up in my face with the evil idiot girl at work, Fistlisa. This is not why I'm interested in her though, this was not the reason I decided to see her, but it does feel as if I were helping her through something. I don't see her as a project, but I can't shake the feeling that she is.
7. She's condom only, even when I pass a blood test. I hate this idea. For real. I hate condoms. They're like... a wetsuit in a sauna. What's the point? I understand the need for safe sex, really. Did I not just post about how women should insist their men practice it? And I meant every word of that. She ism, however, on birth control, although I don't and won't mind the condoms at first, though there is an issue of me reaching the nirvana. We'll work through it, though. I'd rather have her happy and feeling safe than unhappy and scared, you know?
The Ecstacy
1. She's fun. We smile and laugh and giggle together, she's kind of klutzy, which I find endearing.
2. She's sweet, she's already made me a necklace with a fox, my spirit animal, and she We both like movies a lot and I can get her to read comics so we'll have even more to talk about.
2. She swallows. Words can't describe how important this is to me. I could explain it. But i don't want to, and don't think I should have to. Just take my word for it ladies, it's the bees knees and is integral to me.
3. She and I have a sweet hunger. It's like a need. While there may not be sparks, there's definitely fire. Whether it's the desparate clutch of two lonely people, or the white heat of pure sexuality, I don't know. Either way, when I'm with her, I want to be with her, biblical style.
4. She's really pretty, with a great smile and solid grey eyes like oceans, they contain depths unexplored.
5. She is very sexual. Not at all ashamed of her wants or needs. She's happy and proud of her sexuality. This is hot! I appreciate women like this, who aren't shy about it.
6. She enjoys the weirder things in life, my horrifically disgusting sense of humor, my love of horror movies, comic books, cartoons and such.
7. She's got no extremes to her personality. This is very important. She is not extremely happy, sad, angry, melancholy, nothing. She's mellow. Good mellow, like mellow yellow.
Conclusion: Not enough information, but it doesn't look like a complete match. I doubt this relationship will last very long.
Okay, I know I'm an arrogant bastard who thinks hes a lot smarter he looks. Well, I am smart. But I'm also absent minded. And currently, I'm driving illegally. See, in the states, we have to register our car every month and get a little tag to put on it. And we have to have the title of our cars in our names. I have neither of these. Because I seem to have misplaced my title and registration. And I have no idea where they are. because of this, I am driving illegally, and will continue to do so until I find and fix it. But uh.. I have no idea where I put them. I remember looking at them, in fact, not too long ago. But what I did with them after the fact, I have no clue. How does this make me feel? Like a total stupid asshole. This is not the first time that I have misfiled or lost important information. I wasn't able to apply for financial aid for school because I lost my tax information once. Stupid? No. Absent-minded? Yes.
I saw 2 and a half movies this weekend. The Shadow, which was cheesy but fun, Dream for an Insomniac, which was fantastic, and the not so great Serendipity. Annoying. I haven't finished watching it, because Kate Becksindale's creepy flighty character irritates me so much, I want to slap her. Or choke her. I don't advocate violence against women, but I would have cheerfully kicked her in the goolies if she was so difficult with me. Speaking of that, though, I watched a FASCINATING documentary on professional wrestling and it's effect upon men and women. Holy shit, I had no idea it was so incredibly sexist. Yeah, I like seeing boobies as much as the next guy, but this... There was a woman who got knocked out by a man, he elbowed her or something stupid like that. The man the proceeded to mount her, then force a kiss on her. The announcers said "She deserved it!" and "She's enjoying it, look at her." while this (obviously not really) unconcious woman was assaulted. Fucking disturbing. And that was just the beginning of the degrading things done to women on the show. There were also testimonials from men and women saying that the women of the show deserved to be beaten upon, in domestic violence scenes. I was more than a little horrified. I just wish I knew the name of it.
When is it okay to really get pissed off? Bad wait service? Loud smelly kids kicking you? How about when someone cuts in front of you in the express lane with 30 packages, instead of the clearly stated 10-15? Is it okay then to feel the need to shatter kneecaps? Is it right of me to grab the cart that the 30 items are in and fling it away with all my strength (Admittedly not far, but anger grants power!), then gently apply pressure to the person's instep till it cracks like drywall? Am I right in thinking that I should teach this person in the most severe way that this behavior is not tolerated in our polite society by destroying something they find precious, like a kidney or a small dog? If it is, please tell the police that. They are not as understanding as you. And can someone spare me some cash for bail?
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY POB!, you mad writing genius bastard! You give me a serious psychological complex and a questioning of my talent every time you post. Folks, every one of you should read Pob, he writes like a director of the movie of his life, with a lot more poetry and humor. He always makes me laugh and feel good, which makes him one of the greatest people alive. You can't read Pob and not feel like his best friend, sitting around the table with him, a beer in your hands as he spins a tale to make you smile.
:: Paul 2:53:00 PM [+] ::
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